The Tale of St James -Intro

Ok, so, I’ve been sat looking at an empty screen wondering what delights I could share with you my lovely reader. I’ve been toying with the idea of expanding on the Tale of St James which I wrote on day 23. Some people said they enjoyed it and I enjoyed writing it so I guess writing a bit more couldn’t hurt..

I know that some of you probably won’t enjoy the (possibly blasphemous) content and for that I can only apologise. I’m considering writing the entire story for my own enjoyment and I’m not sure if I should:

1. share it on here as a blog chapter by chapter or in whatever chunks I get written.

2. write the full story and post a link for those that want to read it when its finished (if it ever is)

3. write it and keep it to myself because there’s only me that thinks its funny.

There’s no way of me knowing without getting feedback from you.. please have a read and let me know either in the comments or by contacting me via email with your thoughts and suggestions.. (please try not to be too offensive, I’m quite a sensitive chap)

Anyway, here’s chapter one. I hope you enjoy it.

The Tales of St James

(by Steven El Rey)

Chapter one

It had been a long Afternoon. The afternoon had seamlessly blended into a long evening and the evening had been the foundation for what could only be described as a long night.

“For sooth Little Ron!” slurred the well-oiled St James… “Today hast been longer than the queue for the ladies toilets at a music festival!.. We two have been in this quaint tavern from noon until now and drank enough wine to float an ark… who knew that watching the group stages of the football world cup would prove such a task? Verily, watching three games in a day doth test a man’s mettle as well as his bladder!”

“Aye!” Cried Little Ron. “Twelve hours have we sat here and much wine have we quaffed.. but the tavern keeper’s fayre has been sparse and unfilling… A man such as I cannot survive on two sausage rolls and a bag of beef potato chips!! Let us remove ourselves from this barren tavern and pay a visit to yonder kebab shop for some spicy meat”

“Alas, is there no other choice?.. I tire of spicy kebab. The meat is of dubious origin and the grease runneth down my arms and makes my smock sticky!”

“There be no other fayre hereabouts sweet St James” cried the starving Little Ron. “I have heard tales of a place where it is foretold a man can buy food fit for a king… Beef, chicken or fish in a fresh seeded bun served on a platter with golden potatoes and a beverage, for less than it would cost to hire one-toothed Mary for an hour’s pleasure!… The name of this place be Burger King and it shall be found in a town name of Santiago..”

“Pray tell, my chubby companion, How long would it take to walk to Santiago? If truth be told I fear that my time here in St Jean Pied-de-Port hath ran out, I bet my last 3 gold pieces on Scotland to beat Brazil and now find myself nearly broke.. I hath four copper coins and could raise four coins more by selling my signed copy of the first testament. It only says ‘To Jimmy.. Stay Meek!! Best Wishes J.C.‘ I could advertise it as being signed by Joan Collins.”

“A cunning plot oh fair St James” Laughed Little Ron.. “I have coin enough for tonight’s kebab and your Eight coppers will be sufficient to get us a few days past the Pyrenees as long as we don’t stay at the Orisson Albergue.. I have looked in the guide written by Friar Lee and our destination lies forty days and forty nights to the west.”

“This place sounds like heaven on earth!” replied a dribbling St James.. “Surely two men who love the lord so dearly should travel to such a heaven and feast on such plentiful bounty.. I wonder if they serve Mozzarella sticks?? Tonight we shall have our last kebab.. for tomorrow we shall begin our journey across mountain and stream to find the Holy Grill… Come Little Ron… Our quest lies before us!”

And with that St James and his trusty friend Little Ron staggered to the kebab shop and shared their last meal in St Jean Pied-de-Port. Sunrise was only a few hours away and their journey was about to begin.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ok, so there you have it… chapter one. short and sweet. The sad thing is I really enjoy writing it.. There’s no grand plan as such so finding out what the characters are doing as I go along and it makes it fun for me as I write. I’m definitely going to write more but should I keep it to myself? I guess it’s harder to read if you aren’t a huge Camino fan but I assume most of you are here because of my camino blogging… did you come to read a fictional novel about St James? probably not.. but now you’ve started do you want to read more?

please let me know.. and I promise the minute I have something sensible to share with you the blog will return to normal.

thanks for reading (and for your suggestions)

Andy

12 thoughts on “The Tale of St James -Intro

  1. Yes keep going

    Max

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  2. Being a lover of chapter 26 and obviously one of your biggest fans, I think brilliant, such wit and so funny.
    I beseech thee to write more, as this fair damsel…
    ( ok may be the ‘young’ part of the definition of Damsel is pushing it! ) ‘ is loving it’
    I’m imagining little Ron as Rrrrandy 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. * Not intended as a website comment *
    I like it a lot! I think you’re found an untapped niche in a congested market of Camino writings.
    I’d want to read it. I’d appreciate you sharing it. Although I agree that a very small part of the largest Camino market (theists) may find it blasphemous. So I reckon your most fitting dissemination is online. And if you do it piecemeal then the satire / current event references are appropriate (I mean, we’re already dropping to only two matches a day and I’m not sure what normally fills those hours). So I’m voting blog format. Or maybe I’m just impatient and don’t want to wait for you to finish it and then maybe not even disseminate it…!
    Monetising blogs is entirely possible but your fanbase is a subspecies of a subspecies (and that exceeds taxonomic nomenclature). And I can’t call whether a non Camino fan would enjoy your story, the in joke about albergue cost is one of the funniest because it’s an in joke. So thank goodness you enjoyed writing it. Consequently, please publish in whatever way you most enjoy. Please do share it.
    Amy.
    PS: I totally thought you and Randy were a budding couple. Oooops. But I’ve got previous for that: I met two older US gents that I assumed were a couple, turned out they’d met in the Pyrenees and realised their pace and desire for nicer accommodation matched.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking the time to give such great feedback Amy. I weighed up the pros and cons of using current events and decided to go with the world cup for chapter one but doubt it will be a running theme.. once our merry band hit the road I’m assuming their adventures will become more generic and less topical.. I also realised that I have chosen characters that only appeal to a subsection of possible readers and considered using characters/plot that would appeal to a wider audience but for some reason I feel that this story needs to be told.. I guess if nothing else its a good way of flexing my writing muscles.. I’ve never written anything before (please pretend to be shocked) so I’m learning as I go. I’m also not writing/rewriting drafts.. the story is going out pretty much as it flows from my fingers.. I may write myself into a corner.. I may look back and wish I’d included or omitted certain sections but I guess I’ll find out as I go along.. plus if I get to the end and feel like it’s worth polishing up with a second draft then there’s always an option..
      And as for the randy/couple thing.. I spent 40 days trying as hard as I could to make him feel uncomfortable (it’s my twisted sense of humour) funnily enough I spoke with him the other day and posed the question how many people thought we were a couple.. it was hilarious watching him trying to explain we were both straight while I was introducing him to fellow pilgrims as my bunk buddy/Mr gropey etc..
      I guess I should clarify for all of Randy’s friends that it was only a joke.. randy spent most evenings chasing nuns around various monestaries while I went to bed early in a much less predatory fashion.
      (Again, I apologise to Randy.. I just can’t help myself)

      Like

  4. Yes! I want to read more!! I vote for Door #1 – post chapter by chapter. I’ll have to remember not to be drinking coffee while I read future chapters for fear of blowing out the keyboard when I burst out laughing.
    Keep writing!! Mary Lynn

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Same as above, I want more . It feels good to laugh!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I know nothing of the Camino and I still enjoyed reading this! Very funny. Brilliant writing. It’s like a mixed up monologue of actual events, fiction, history (almost) current affairs and nonsense! You have to do more….as it flows!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I know nothing of the Camino and I still enjoyed reading this! Very funny. Brilliant writing. It’s like a mixed up monologue of actual events, fiction, history (almost) current affairs and nonsense! You have to do more….as it flows!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I would agree, keep writing, keep posting as blog entries, very enjoyable. More so with the “in” jokes.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Love it Andy!! I read anything i can about the Camino but i love your wit and humor, makes me want to go back. Keep it coming 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. mylifeonvacation Jul 2, 2018 — 8:36 pm

    I also say keep writing. Here in blog is great and if you decide to, you can always pull it together and clean it up and publish as an online book. You never know how many people are in the niche who would hand over a couple of bucks (quids to you??) for a fun camino-inspired tale!

    This podcast I listen to had an episode about writing an ebook that is quite entertaining (and informative, and inspiring).
    https://www.panoply.fm/podcasts/bythebook/episodes/6JabC4rJ5YkiMEo4cu8UIi

    Like

  11. door number 1! I would love to read this bit by bit. Even if the story wasn’t quite continuous while you publish it and took a few tangent trails here and there, the idea of having bits of modern in a medieval tale is such a fun thing when it’s written well. And I think you do write very well. Looking forward to it.

    Like

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