Ok, so, I’ve been sat looking at an empty screen wondering what delights I could share with you my lovely reader. I’ve been toying with the idea of expanding on the Tale of St James which I wrote on day 23. Some people said they enjoyed it and I enjoyed writing it so I guess writing a bit more couldn’t hurt..
I know that some of you probably won’t enjoy the (possibly blasphemous) content and for that I can only apologise. I’m considering writing the entire story for my own enjoyment and I’m not sure if I should:
1. share it on here as a blog chapter by chapter or in whatever chunks I get written.
2. write the full story and post a link for those that want to read it when its finished (if it ever is)
3. write it and keep it to myself because there’s only me that thinks its funny.
There’s no way of me knowing without getting feedback from you.. please have a read and let me know either in the comments or by contacting me via email with your thoughts and suggestions.. (please try not to be too offensive, I’m quite a sensitive chap)
Anyway, here’s chapter one. I hope you enjoy it.
The Tales of St James
(by Steven El Rey)
It had been a long Afternoon. The afternoon had seamlessly blended into a long evening and the evening had been the foundation for what could only be described as a long night.
“For sooth Little Ron!” slurred the well-oiled St James… “Today hast been longer than the queue for the ladies toilets at a music festival!.. We two have been in this quaint tavern from noon until now and drank enough wine to float an ark… who knew that watching the group stages of the football world cup would prove such a task? Verily, watching three games in a day doth test a man’s mettle as well as his bladder!”
“Aye!” Cried Little Ron. “Twelve hours have we sat here and much wine have we quaffed.. but the tavern keeper’s fayre has been sparse and unfilling… A man such as I cannot survive on two sausage rolls and a bag of beef potato chips!! Let us remove ourselves from this barren tavern and pay a visit to yonder kebab shop for some spicy meat”
“Alas, is there no other choice?.. I tire of spicy kebab. The meat is of dubious origin and the grease runneth down my arms and makes my smock sticky!”
“There be no other fayre hereabouts sweet St James” cried the starving Little Ron. “I have heard tales of a place where it is foretold a man can buy food fit for a king… Beef, chicken or fish in a fresh seeded bun served on a platter with golden potatoes and a beverage, for less than it would cost to hire one-toothed Mary for an hour’s pleasure!… The name of this place be Burger King and it shall be found in a town name of Santiago..”
“Pray tell, my chubby companion, How long would it take to walk to Santiago? If truth be told I fear that my time here in St Jean Pied-de-Port hath ran out, I bet my last 3 gold pieces on Scotland to beat Brazil and now find myself nearly broke.. I hath four copper coins and could raise four coins more by selling my signed copy of the first testament. It only says ‘To Jimmy.. Stay Meek!! Best Wishes J.C.‘ I could advertise it as being signed by Joan Collins.”
“A cunning plot oh fair St James” Laughed Little Ron.. “I have coin enough for tonight’s kebab and your Eight coppers will be sufficient to get us a few days past the Pyrenees as long as we don’t stay at the Orisson Albergue.. I have looked in the guide written by Friar Lee and our destination lies forty days and forty nights to the west.”
“This place sounds like heaven on earth!” replied a dribbling St James.. “Surely two men who love the lord so dearly should travel to such a heaven and feast on such plentiful bounty.. I wonder if they serve Mozzarella sticks?? Tonight we shall have our last kebab.. for tomorrow we shall begin our journey across mountain and stream to find the Holy Grill… Come Little Ron… Our quest lies before us!”
And with that St James and his trusty friend Little Ron staggered to the kebab shop and shared their last meal in St Jean Pied-de-Port. Sunrise was only a few hours away and their journey was about to begin.
Ok, so there you have it… chapter one. short and sweet. The sad thing is I really enjoy writing it.. There’s no grand plan as such so finding out what the characters are doing as I go along and it makes it fun for me as I write. I’m definitely going to write more but should I keep it to myself? I guess it’s harder to read if you aren’t a huge Camino fan but I assume most of you are here because of my camino blogging… did you come to read a fictional novel about St James? probably not.. but now you’ve started do you want to read more?
please let me know.. and I promise the minute I have something sensible to share with you the blog will return to normal.
thanks for reading (and for your suggestions)